I Embrace Body Positivity – And I Still Want To Lose Weight

Guys, I want to tell you something… I love my body. I love what it is capable of. I love what it has done for me, I love that I created two, beautiful humans with it and that it gets me places. I was scared to share my journey with Aesthetics 11 with you, for fear of ruffling some feathers. Then again, ruffling feathers is what I do best – so to hell with it.

I honestly believe that you can still be body positive, even if you are trying to lose weight for the sake of your health.

Since I started working from home, I have picked up 8kgs. That is 2kg’s a month… The extra weight is just not working for me. I don’t feel healthy, and that is my problem with my body right now. It is not healthy and I am not healthy. I struggle with constant back and neck pain, I am short of breath, I am getting migraines, I have very little energy, my blood circulation is incredibly restricted which is also causing me pain and discomfort and I am so unfit I can barely race my kids to the fridge without wanting to pass out.

The extra weight went straight to my butt, legs and arms and that means that my clothes – my beautiful wardrobe full of garments I very carefully selected throughout the years – no longer fit me. It has also affected my sex-drive… I just cannot bring myself to let my husband see me naked or even so much as touch me. I am not loving the way I look, and feel right now. And you know what? It’s okay to want to change that.

Body positivity is an amazing thing, but it does not have to be a crutch for being unhealthy. I have no idea how I have gotten to this place where I have lost my self confidence and letting the condition my body is in impact my life in so many negative ways. I can’t buy the clothes I want, I don’t want the clothes I can fit into and I just feel lazy and sluggish. I don’t feel powerful. I don’t feel beautiful. I am carrying fat where I have never carried fat before in my life.

I let myself get here, and only I can get myself back. I know that the constant snacking, unhealthy food choices, extra spoons of sugar in my coffee, eating nutella out of the jar and excess portions have caused this. This is all on me.  I’m not suffering from a thyroid problem, I’m not diabetic – there are very VERY valid reasons that people cannot shift their weight and the body positivity movement is amazing for helping them to understand that their natural shape is beautiful. This isn’t me and it isn’t my natural shape.

I’m not eating well and I don’t exercise (at all), something that isn’t true for everyone who lives on the plus size side of life – a lot of these men and women do exercise and are healthy as can be. When I want to justify my behavior to myself I look at my favourite body positivity Instagram accounts and lean on their body confidence, I tell myself if they can rock out in a short skirt and feel sexy, why can’t I? They are still confident and look amazing to me so yeah, sure I can… body positivity is becoming my excuse for being unhealthy and overweight (to clarify – the two are not synonymous).

I don’t love my body now. It is a place I promised myself 4-years ago that I would never get to, and told myself 8-years ago I can never be at. Yet, here I am.

You can try manifest body positivity until you are blue in the face, if it is not happening – it just isn’t. Being body confident is amazing, I was there 8kg’s ago. Becoming body confident might very well mean that you need to eat healthier, pick up some weight, lose some weight or use the science at your disposal to get there. It is different for everyone. Body positivity does not mean that you have to accept being something you are not, and keep trying to roll with it. It just doesn’t work that way.

No matter how hard I try to embrace that I’m larger, that I shouldn’t deny myself whatever I want to fit some arbitrary rule, I can’t do that anymore. I’m getting bigger and bigger the more I’m forcing myself this unacceptable ideal of body confidence and “I don’t give a damn about my weight/size” attitude. It’s not me. I give a damn and I’m deeply unhappy with mine.

So I’m changing it.

For me, the body positivity movement is about embracing bodies for being bodies – and not just their sizes. It is about the fact that our bodies all deserve respect. I don’t want to change my body to the point where I can fit into a size 30, that’s not me either. I just want to sit comfortably at my natural size 36… with my big bum that will never go away, my thick legs and flappy boobs. I’m cool with that.

If I am struggling this much physically due to my weight at 29, how much am I not going to struggle in my late thirties? I love and respect my body enough to not let it suffer, to do something about it now while I still can – and I am so glad that Sue, Dora and Rush are by my side for this journey, because they love my body too.

Aesthetics 11 has chosen me as one of their ambassadors, and I am really thrilled. I had my 30-minute body consult with Dora, a very qualified and experienced aesthetics therapist, two weeks ago. The body consults are complimentary, so you do not have to commit to anything until you have heard everything you need to help you feel at ease. It was emotional for me, and I felt ashamed of myself… but Dora has this way about her. She is so kind and friendly, and because we had very similar body types she understood my struggles. During my consultation, a few things were highlighted as priority to treat. First off, I needed to start exercising for at least 30 minutes a day and I needed to start eating healthier. I am extremely unfit, and there is no such thing as a quick fix. This is still going to be a difficult and long journey! Rushda, bad-ass personal trainer and mom, has taken me under her wing and I will be starting the Rushtush Glow Cleanse eating plan next week (she even has a one for breastfeeding moms!). She also gave me a whole bunch of amazing workouts that I can do from the comfort of my own home, but you can also join her at her studio in Seapoint.

Secondly, my blood circulation is extremely poor! This contributes to sensitivity in the areas with poor circulation – I cannot be touched in these areas without being in discomfort. There are parts of my body that I cannot lose weight – even with exercise – I really struggle with my legs, arms and butt. Lastly, I really don’t mind my stretchmarks… but my stretched out tummy bothers me. The feel of it makes me cringe and I cannot bring myself to let my husband put his hand on my tummy, even though it doesn’t bother him at all.

We determined that the best treatments for me would be the Venus Radiofrequency Body Countouring Treatment combined with the Endomology Lipo massage. Both the Venus and the endermologie body contouring treatments use non-surgical, non-aggressive technology that works by reactivating the body’s natural fat release process (lipolysis) and restoring healthy fibroblast functioning.

Did you know that from the age of 25, our collagen production starts to slow down at a rate of approx. 1,5% per year, as both the number and activity of our fibroblasts (the skin’s youth cells that produce collagen) declines? As a result the collagen matrix, which provides the skin with firmness and structure, starts to break down and the first signs of ageing appear. The skin starts to sag as it loses its natural firmness and elasticity, becomes  thinner and dehydrated, and fines lines and wrinkles and eventually deep furrows start to appear. This ageing process is accelerated by UV damage, pollution and smoking. Collagen is the most abundant protein found naturally in the body, in our skin, organs, hair, nails, joints & bones. In fact it  accounts for 75% of the protein that makes up the skin.  The skin is comprised of a matrix of very strong collagen connective fibres that form the structural framework or “scaffolding” of the skin, giving the skin its strength, shape and foundation.

For my first session we took some before photo’s – you have to realize how lovely Dora is if I felt comfortable standing in a bra and panty (under fluorescent lights) before her. We also took measurements and I will share that all with you when I have finished my treatments. My goal? I want to be able to show my legs next summer. I want to be able to run around on the beach with my kids in a swimsuit. I want to be healthy, I want to feel energized, I want to take my husband’s breath away. I want to play with my kids without getting tired, and I want to be able to fit into my size 36 clothes.

“At Aesthetics 11 our goal is to inspire confidence in women by offering that extra bit of help to look good and feel good about their bodies. Our non-surgical body contouring and skin tightening technology can target those stubborn fatty areas or cellulite that is resistant to physical exercise and dieting, whilst also helping to improve skin quality and firmness. Both the Venus and the Endermologie Body contouring treatments use non-agressive, 100% painfree technology that works by restoring healthy cellular activity in the body. They stimulate the body’s own natural fat release process (lipolysis) from fat storage cells in the hard to reach areas and restore healthy fibroblast functioning to boost collagen levels. A course of treatments must be combined with a nutritionally balanced diet and moderate exercise.” – Sue, founder of Aesthetics 11

The Venus Body Contouring & skin tightening treatment is a targeted treatment that uses multipolar radiofrequency heat and pulsed electromagnetic fields to to help shrink localised fat deposits, firm loose skin, smooth cellulite and fade stretch marks. It is recommended when you want to target one or two hard-to-hit problem areas that areas resistant to diet and exercise, such as the tummy roll, love handles, bra bulges, knee folds, upper arms, inner thighs and buttocks.  Most patients require a course of at least 8 weekly treatments per targeted area.

The Endermologie Lipomassage treatment is a full body, body shaping and cellulite reduction treatment that uses multidirectional motorised rollers and suction to lift and reshape body contours, firm the skin, improve the appearance of cellulite and drain excess fluid and toxins. It is especially recommended for the gynoid / pear-shaped figure to re-sculpt and uplift flat, flabby or fatty buttocks, smooth cellulite, eliminate “banana bulge” and “saddlebags”and reshape the the legs and calves. A starter course of at least 12 sessions is recommended, with at least 2 sessions per week for the first 4 weeks and then sessions can be gradually spaced out weekly and eventually biweekly.

The team at Aesthetics 11 were kind enough to offer my readers an exclusive introductory offer  – save 50% on your first Venus Body Countouring and Skin Tightening Target treatment and pay only R400! Please use the referral code ” A11Maz” – valid until end of August

I Embrace Body Positivity – And I Still Want To Lose Weight

So, my journey started this week – tomorrow I have my second treatment! Let me know if you have any questions and I will get them answered for you. I would also love to hear your thoughts on body positivity and losing weight! Next week I will be posting a blog post with some more information on the treatments, so please let me know if you have any questions you would like answered.


Aesthetics 11

Phone:  086 132 4652

WhatsApp: 065  523 9301

E-mail: info@aesthetics11.co.za


65 Main Road
Green Point
Cape Town


Mon – Fri: 9:00am – 6.00pm
Sat: 8:00am– 5:00pm

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One thought on “I Embrace Body Positivity – And I Still Want To Lose Weight

  1. Tamara Davidson says:

    There’s no doubt that losing weight has a lot to it than esthetics or appearance . Working from home and experiencing many difficulties with weight gain and loss . Trying to stay positive !

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