I have finally finished all the episodes of Gossip Girl – so I am finally ready to face the world again! You thought I was joking over on my Facebook page when I said I was neglecting my blog because I was watching too much TV after getting sucked into a Gossip Girl abyss… well I wasn’t.
It’s not like I have just been vegging out on the couch watching television all day either, it has been an extremely busy and crazy past few weeks for me – and that is why my blog took a bit of a back seat. It started off with me getting seriously ill with a terrible lung infection, then both the kids and the husband got sick as well. When the light at the end of the tunnel started glimmering through, everyone was struck with an awful stomach bug. And as I have mentioned before, raising kids without a village to help can be trying. Besides all the sickness floating around in our home, work has been insane! We moved into new offices, got briefs for the season ahead and my partner in crime went on maternity leave. We are also planning a launch for the building and have had to put in extra time for our collections – so my “normal” day for the past few months went something like this:
5:15am: Wake up, shower & get ready for work, drink coffee (if there is time).
5:45am: Kids wake up, give them breakfast and get their clothes and bags ready for the day ahead.
6:15am: Make sure everything is packed for work & school, and leave for the office.
7:20am: Get to work, read e-mails, try be bad-ass and creative to the point where I feel I might fall over from exhaustion.
10:00am: Skip my tea break because there is not enough hours in the day.
1:00pm: Take lunch break to refuel and have a massive cup of coffee… grumpy because I miss my kids.
3:00pm: Phone the husband because I am going to be home late again.
7:00pm: Finally get home – at this point the husband is on the brink of insanity after having a long day at work himself, and having to deal with the little ones all on his own (they are a handful!). He had already started cooking so we have supper, bath the kids, pack the dishwasher, feed the animals, clean the lounge, clean the kitchen, pack the clothes away and put the kids to bed.
9:00pm: Let the “working mom guilt” seep in and do its job, contemplate writing a blog post – but the exhaustion is just too much at this point.
10:00pm: Finally have time to look at my phone, respond to all the messages and spend some time with the hubs. At this point I am just about ready to pass out, but my brain is wired and won’t shut down.
10:30pm: Get into bed and watch Netflix (Gossip Girl) or read, if I have the energy.
11:30pm: Finally drift off to sleep.
Rinse and repeat.
See, I have learned to pick my battles. Being a working mother is not something that I will be able to change anytime soon – my job is important to me, but most importantly, it is important for the wellbeing of my family. My job allows us to live where we are living, and for the kids to go to a school of my choice. It pays for insurance, and food, and all the other things that are quite essential for day-to-day life. Although I love my blog dearly, I knew that if I took on too much – that I would burn out and be a worthless wreck. My anxiety has been off the charts and I have been fighting a battle with depression… 2017 started off a little rough. I know I need to look after myself, but when? Oh, and we are potty training – just to punish ourselves (although it seems to be much easier this time around). I almost forgot to mention that I was in a car accident two weeks ago, a taxi was driving in the emergency lane, was not watching where it was going and crashed into the side of my car as I was turning at the green robot. He drove off, which made it a criminal case and I have been suffering from whiplash ever since. I have not had time to see my chiropractor, and only managed to get a quote for my insurance last week. The whole experience left me quite rattled, mostly because I vividly remember looking back and seeing my back passenger door smashed in… right where the one car seat is. Luckily my kids were not with me, but it was such an important reminder that things happen – and sometimes they are completely out of your control. Buckle up your kids!!
Anyway… let’s move on, shall we?
Anticipating: I can’t wait for Summer to end, I am longing for cooler days and rainy nights! Last night mother nature decided to spoil us with a spectacular thunder storm and I sat outside (in the rain) watching it all, that is how desperate I am. It is always about 5 degrees hotter on the farm than it is in the city and surrounding suburbs – and it is just too much for me. I actually grew up in Upington, so you’d think that I would be used to the scorching weather. I think I have just reached my quota over my lifetime… time to move to Iceland! By the way, when exactly does Summer say goodbye in Cape Town? I have lived here for almost 7-years now and I never quite remember…
Accepting: That you cannot have it all. It’s easy for people who basically work half days, have family and friends nearby to help and who have housekeepers and full-time nannies to say you can – but you can’t. And you should not be killing yourself to meet an unrealistic standard set out by the “Instagram perfect” parent society. No-one has it all, this is not easy, and just by trying – you are a great momdad. Accept that everyone’s situation is different, and life is not a highlight reel of perfectly filtered memories.
Appreciating: This gorgeous estate that we get to call our home. We have been dreaming of packing up and moving to a farm for so long that it still does not feel real. I cannot imagine living any other way… and last night, sitting on my porch watching the thunder-storm roll in from the ocean – I felt like the luckiest person alive. The wheat fields with the same colour as my son’s hair, the spectacular sunsets, the sound of the horses in the distance, the fog in the morning after a hot night, the dew on the pine needles when I get out to open the farm gate… it all makes the heated days bearable, and proves to me that our decision to move out here was probably the best we have ever made.
Reading: I just finished Citadel by Kate Mosse – it took my a while, but I am such a huge fan of her books! I have now started Angelology by Danielle Trussoni… a bit of a boring start, but we’ll see.
Watching: As I have mentioned, I have been binge watching Gossip Girl – and now I finally know her true identity and my heart can be at peace. Hubs and I have started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine – it is the funniest thing I have seen since Scrubs. LOVE IT! Do yourself a favor, and get into it!
Listening to: Kfm… I can’t seem to start my morning without that crew. They are just so funny, and the whole rain dance thing has me in stitches every time.
Feeling: Inspired. I definitely need to carve out a little more time for the blog. I have so much I want to share and writing has always been a form of therapy to me. I am just always so damn tired, but I need to make this work! How do you balance your day-to-day life with hobbies?
Loving: The one upside of being so mentally and physically exhausted every night is that O have not needed to take sleeping tablets in months! If you have been following my blog for a while, you will know that I am a chronic insomniac (amongst other things) and that I have been using sleeping tablets for years. So, looking on the bright side!
Questioning: This whole Cape Town drought situation. Obviously I know the problem is real and that it is actually quite scary, but what I cannot seem to figure out is why it took the city and ruling party so long to act on it? Surely they saw this coming, and surely this could have been prevented in some way? It all just seems a bit dodgy to me. What do you think?
Just kidding, I’m not that obsessed. Or am I?